Mar. 22nd, 2017

katiebiiird: (Default)
Last weekend I showed up for my callback at the theater. The callback is next month. GO ME! I AM FUCKING SMART! At least I have another month to sing 'I Could Have Danced All Night' relentlessly until I can actually hit that last note.
katiebiiird: (Default)
I love it when I'm about to have a heart attack because my paper sucks, so I email it to my teacher and she's like "no! I like it!" I think I'm just firmly convinced that everything I do is a piece of shit. I just need to remember that that isn't true. My actions only amount to shit 90% of the time.
katiebiiird: (Default)
This was one I've been wanting to get a hold of for a while. Believe it or not, the original stories were actually pretty hard to track down. Mostly because the wiki finally deleted them on account of being shit.

Here's a bit of background for this story. The Tails Doll was an unlockable character in Sonic R. There was a rumor that circulated about this certain character that if you completed the game, then played tag mode as the Tails Doll, it would be summoned to you.

It was complete bull crap of course, and not even terribly scary. However, the rumors spread like wildfire, causing the Tails Doll to become what has probably been accepted as one of the scariest things on the internet.

Of course, none of the versions of the "original" pasta or the doll itself are scary.

Look at this thing.



I don't know about all of you, but it looks completely non-threatening to me. It's a floppy Tails plushie with a red gem attached to its head. I highly doubt anything that looks like this could possibly pose a threat to anyone. Careful! It might beat you to death with its soft, cuddly paws!

Yet somehow, the online community has managed to turn it into this:



How do you even...? Especially when said image is based off the crap that I'm about to present you with. Without further ado, I give you both versions of the famous (or infamous) Tails Doll story.

---

Ever played Sonic R? Possibly a small percent of you have heard of the ‘tails doll’. Here is ONE of the stories I have heard of from my close friend.

Oh look! Two cliches in the first paragraph! The "have you ever played/seen/heard of" cliche and the "someone I know" or the "friend of a friend" cliche.

There's one thing I need to get out there. PLEASE never ask the audience if they've ever heard of/payed/watched the thing! Obviously they're in the fandom somehow if they're bothering to read your story! If it's a game/book/show that you made up, then OF COURSE they haven't heard of it!

Now of course, there are always exceptions to this, but it has to be a pretty damn good story for you to get away with it!


A man came home from work with a gift for his son. He had picked up a new video game for him, Sonic R. It was a racing game and when he gave his son the gift, he was so excited to get it and play it right away. That night he played the game with his son and they had a great time. A couple of days later the boy was almost finished with the game. His dad was there in his room when he beat the last boss and he roared in excitement when he finially did it. He smiled and asked him how he liked the game as he watched the credits screen. “W-what’s that?” He asked the boy when The Tails Doll appeared on the screen. The boy said it was the Tails Doll, that was all he knew.

Of course this friend of the author relates this story like it's a campfire tale and expects us to be afraid. He obviously doesn't know this man or his son, because he's extremely vague about them. "Hey, once I heard about this guy somewhere who gave this game to his kid and then shit happened. Just kidding! I'm pulling this entire story out of my ass!"

"Finially"

The author knows exactly how dialogue works, which is why the father sounds like a scared six-year old! Also, as I mentioned before, why does dad sound so freaked out about seeing the Tails Doll? I mean...




REALLY!?

He told his son it was time for bed. During the night, the curious father went into the boy’s room and turned on the TV very quietly to play the game for a while himself. He noticed that he now had the option to play as “Tails Doll.” He chose him to tag up with some of the gang.

Because the best time to play a game is when your son is sleeping, and not just asking to play when it's daytime! Or better yet, playing when he's at school, because I'm sure the author didn't think this out well enough to give you a job!

Besides, I'm not quite sure this person knows how gamers operate. If this guy plays like everyone else he does this 90% of the time.




Yeah, your son can sleep through that!

The game was fun until he tagged him up with Sonic. The screen went black when the game system shut itself down. The man decided it was time for him to go to sleep since he had to work in the morning so he crept out of his son’s room and went to lay in bed with his wife.

"What...? What's wrong with this thing? *jiggles wires* Huh? There must be some way to fix it?" *Typicaldadmode.exe has failed to open. Would you like to restart windows?*

At around 2:00am he woke up when he heard thumps on his door. He assumed it was his son getting up to ask him to get him something. He told the boy to “Stop go back to bed.” The thumping kept happening and at one point he noticed a little shadow coming from under the door.

So he woke his wife up in case they had to make a speedy getaway, and he grabbed the nearest object that could be used as a weapon before opening that door! Also, for there to be a shadow, there would have to be light. Do you just randomly leave unnecessary lights on before you go to bed? Your electric bill must be insane.

“Tails” kept popping into his head. He got out of bed and slowly opened the door. Then he heard someone say this very softly, “You are coming with me… forever.” It was a doll. An evil, blood-covered, possessed little doll. It was the doll from the game, it had to be.

Because when I hear knocking on my door at night, the first thing I think is "oh, it must be a plushie from a video game!" I love how there is so little reaction here. There's no description of him, just a very dramatic one of the doll. I'm just imagining him standing there like "yeaaaahhhh... no..." and then slamming the door in the thing's face because it's tiny and can't open it.



Final thoughts:

Originality: 1/10
Scare Factor: 0/10
Characters: 1/10 (When something's this bad, it gets a point for just HAVING characters...)
Believable? HELL NO! 0/10
Plot: 1/10

Final Comments:

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